Another thing that can be said in your behalf is that you had good DNA to transmit to your children. And you selected good mothers to nurture your seed and rear your children while you were out and about struggling with your Nafs al-Ammara Bissu' (demons).
Allah is the Best Knower. If you hadn't descended into "Hell" you wouldn't be able to understand the depth of the despair and desperation that encompasses so many of our Black Men, which also allows you to reach out to them and speak FOR them.
Most often, it is the one who has experienced the most intense of life's experiences who is best able to produce great art that touches the heart. Can you imagine Aretha Franklin being able to sing " I Never Loved a Man" without having her heart crushed?
To quote one appropriate old gospel hymn: "Must Jesus bear the Cross alone and all the World go Free? No, there's a cross for Everyone and there's a Cross for me."