Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Notes on the Pan African Mental Health Peer Group
Berkeley Continuation High, Session #2

From: ramal lamar
To: Marvin X Jackmon
Cc: Tracey Mitchell ; refa1@hotmail. com
Sent: Tuesday, March 17, 2009 9:14:58 PM
Subject: Fwd: Questions

Dr. M,

Attached is the question the peer group answered
yesterday. Below is a check in of today's session..
(If you post this one, please edit where you deem necessary)

Today's session was full of humility, excitement and clear
articulation of common experiences of oppression shared by the
brothers. We dealt with when we first realized the fear
associated with success. Not only did all of the brothers participate
but some brothers were so on point that their responses almost forced
others to kind of shut down (I saw glimpses of the how high the walls
were inside of myself keeping others so far away). One brother shared
how he was forced in middle school to take ritalin twice a day after
getting all F's. He described how he would be legally high in a zombie
like manner walking around the campus; then the racist teachers would
whisper evil subliminal messages in his ear, attempting to plant seeds
of failure in his future. He cried and got fearful of success in high
school. But all he wants is be the b-boy he naturally is.That's why part of his '
therapy includes getting some basic alphabetsand proper Zulu training from under
the watchful eye of the Waset Zulu
Nation (Hip Hop Priesthood).

All of the brothers related to these fucked middle school experiences
since most of them all went to school and shared these oppressive
experiences. One brother said the white administrators at Berkeley
High told him in front of his momma that he wasn't shit and wasn't
gonna be shit, and oh how his mama cried. That's when he realized that
he was mis-representing his momma; then they kicked him out of school.
He went on and enrolled at adult school and made up all his shit and
the school still didn't want him to back.

One brother said frankly that he knows what it takes to be successful,
but he has seen so much fucked up shit at such a young age that at
times he just don't give a fuck about nothing and nobody...those
memories stops him in his tracks.
Another brother thanked everyone for being honest in the process and
reminded everyone how similiar our struggles were, how we basically
all been through and will continue to go through the same shit.
Another brother was mad at how he was sent to jail for six months for
missing a court date, but he came to terms with himself and took
responsibility for his own actions.
One brother has a baby on the way and he is in a dilemma on whether to
go out of state to school or to stay local and be a father to is
child. Everyone wants to tell him what to do, but I said if his mama
ain't in the process, then the process ain't real. We'll see the

Through these brothers I see how the white supremacy has affected
them. A few of them still have dreams of robbing the richest white man
and giving to the poor people, some see the glass half empty rather
than half full, and if you recall Dr.M, when we were rolling through
Berkeley to drop off the books at city college, some of them you've
seen in the neighborhood, or at the flea market.
I wish I could eliminate and reverse all that fucked up shit they had
to experience, most of which was beyond them, since they were and are
in many ways young and innocent.

Ramal Lamar
Zulu King from the School of Afrikan Philosophy,
North American Afrikan Mythologist,
University of Poetry
A Project of the Black Arts Movement

No comments: