REPLY;A TALE OF TWO SISTAS


Marvin, I like your analytical review very much. It speaks to my own sentiments. But many black women are unwilling to listen to such criticisms from black men. It is good that Ayodele and Julia are varying from the decades old black-man-attack syndrome. Feminist ideas, including notions of paternal oppression and sexism, have been used in drive-by male attack encounters muchtoo long, to the detriment of both genders. The black man from many quarters is viewed as Enemy No. 1. Hearing shuts down with charges of “excuses” and failure. Black male politics has no feet is believed too easily. Barack stated it: black women are heroes; black men are irresponsible. But it is a stereotype, reactionary politics, only a partial story.

The greater strategy is divide-and-conquer. The system and the laws and politicians have contributed to this I’m-better-off-without-you mode of thought. The only way a black man, unless they are their sons, can dialogue with many black women with respect is to have lots of money or lots of power or both, that is, if you are the Icon of Success. Thus the great popularity of Obama among the majority of black women; he has combined both—money and power. And Then there are the added spice of charm and beauty. He is the man lacking in their own personal psychology (fulfillment). The full package.

This gender excess--conflict--has thus brought us to this condition of “anorexia,” "death from starvation, i.e., the loss of desire" for one another. Black men also have their own form of this psychosexual disease, moocho macho, a denial of sensitivity, of softness--thus the popularity of being a G, a gangster, among so many young black boys. These reactionary modes of behavior abound in our communities. The social connectedness, the fabric of sociality across gender lines in our communities is exceedingly frayed. How we strengthen the quilt that is our lives, our culture begins with these kinds of open and honest looks at the behavior of black men with black men and black men with black women in our daily encounters. Greater retrenchment is not the answer, we must gather together the unwound threads and do the necessary patchwork.

I congratulate Ayodele and Julia Hare on their wonderful introspection.

— Rudy