The real tragedy of black male/female relations is that if we have not processed our issues resulting from our addiction to white supremacy, even under the best of circumstances we cannot enjoy each other. Even when the pussy bill is paid (and the dick bill) there is often so much baggage from the past that no amount of money will suffice( the black bourgeoisie women live with golden handcuffs because even with money and material things, they are yet prisoners of love, abused and dominated like common ghetto nigguhs--some go it alone or have boy toys or girl toys) to allow the relationship to flourish, thus it stumbles and fumbles and the wrong words are said (the psycholinguistic crisis to fuck shit up--silence is golden and ESP) when everything should be beautiful, since money is not the problem. But, alas, up pop head trips, sex guilt, shame, trauma from past relationships, garbage that has not made it to the dustbin because people like to hold onto shit for dear life, but the result is dear death. As Dr. Hare says, no about of money, sex, drugs, religiosity can satisfy the social angst and shattered cultural strivings. We must liberate our consciousness then deal with liberating our reality. It is not a lost cause, just a long process back from the residue of slavery. Try another hundred years.
How many of us discover our bliss or true mission in life? We spend a lifetime dealing with family, children, job, but as Nancy Wilson sang, "I've never been to me...." When the Creator calls, we must answer or simply tread water until we drown because until we discover our true purpose in life no woman or man will suffice. And often our partner is going through the same process, trying to discover self since most of us do not examine self let alone study and recognize the self of our partner. See my poem You Don't Know Me. As for myself, I think I've destroyed enough women trying to be a lover, husband, partner when my mind, body and soul was always somewhere else. Mama said I didn't need a wife, rather a maid, secretary and mistress. I think I better spend the rest of my time on this earth expressing truth as I know it. Do I have seven more years to trip in a relationship filled with trauma and unresolved grief?
You Don't Know Me
By Marvin X
You don't know me
you had a chance to know me
before we made love
you had a chance to know my mind
understand my fears
learn about issues
help me heal some things
but you wanted to make love
so you don't know me
we made love
but you don't know me
don't have a clue
think I'm a good dick
or some good tight pussy
but you don't know me
and never will now
because you wanted to make love
you wanted to get a nut
we didn't even talk much
a little bit leading up to sex
I went along
I was horny too
but you don't know me
and I don't know you
now we never will
we blew it forever
because we made love
too fast too quick too soon
now you think you own me
I can't breathe
can't talk on the phone to friends
because we made love
because I gave you some dick
you gave me some pussy
now I'm no longer human
I'm your love slave
you're my slave
we're in love
but you don't know me
we gonna get married
but you don't know me
we're gonna have children
but you don't know me
you're gonna beat my ass
but you don't know me
you're going to jail
but you don't know me
we're getting a divorce
but you don't know me
now we're friends
"Just Friends" Charlie Parker tune
But you don't know me
and never will.
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