Plato Falls Into the Black Hole, Waiting for Ali

Marvin X


Spinning, spinning, spinning for Shams,
Spinning for love of Shams….—Rumi

Waiting, waiting, waiting for Ali
Waiting for love of Ali—M

After a lifetime he was coming, my brother Ali, coming to the Bay, coming home to stay, home to Cali after 13 years in Wala, Wala, State prison, Washington, after California Youth Authority, Soledad, San Quentin, Folsom, and numerous jails, my long-lost brother was coming to be the brother I always wanted but was never there, for support, love and to lean upon. Now I would be able to tell him how much I love him, no matter the absent years. And he would be able to tell me how much he loved and appreciated me as his younger brother—even though he is only one year older, now 65, and in days I would turn 64, yes, after all the years and tears, brothers at last.
I last saw him in 2002, when my national book tour came to Seattle. Since he knew I was a follower of Elijah Muhammad, he was totally shocked when radical whites showed up at the book party in my hotel suite. Before the book party, I had not seen him since 1979 in Reno, Nevada, when he, our father and I were together for the last time. As I recall, he was shocked when my white students visited me socially while I taught at the University of Nevada, Reno.

So soon he was leaving Seattle for Monterey, supposedly so he could sit by ocean. If there was ever a person who needed the tranquility of the water it was Ali. Violence had consumed his life, but now he wanted to spend his last years in peace, having paid his dues to society. After arriving in Monterey, he was not able to find the housing he wanted, so he decided to return to the Bay area where we grew up. Actually, he would join other Jackmon siblings, including myself, Judy, Debbie, Tommy,
Suzzette and Gayle. The only ones not here were Donna and Ann. We are all looking forward to Thanksgiving dinner at Debbie's. But today I was at the Greyhound bus station waiting for Ali to arrive from the coast. At 3pm I arrived and parked outside in the taxi stand space. Once inside, I grabbed a Snickers from the candy machine. When I turned around our faces met, although we both agreed we didn't recognize each other since we've both gained weight. I was also suffering a case of Virtigo(dizzyness), and I discovered he was suffering from a multitude of ails, including heart problems caused by smoking.

Spinning for Shams.

Waiting for Ali

Spinning for love of Shams

Waiting for love of Ali

We embraced and I helped him with his bags to the car. His plan was to check into a hotel until he could find a house or apartment, but I had other plans. I told him of my plans for him to stay with me until he found a permanent place. He resisted but finally submitted. He let me know he was not used to accepting help from anyone. Survival had taught him to rely on no one but himself. He had absolutely no belief in God and despised religion. And although he considered me a religious person, I was determined he would soon discover I believed in spirituality, not religion. If I could only convince him of my belief in spirituality, I figured it would simply add to his basic humanity, because I knew him to be a kind, caring and giving person, despite his anti-religious, individualistic ranting, rooted in criminal and prison culture. I just wanted to show him love and allow him to show his love for me. In the days ahead, he would admit to me it would be a daunting task to heal himself of individualism and the inability to accept love and blessings from those who cared about him. Somehow, in the travels of his mind, he concluded no one cared, and even if they did, he would not know how to respond in kind.
-----to be continued--
Plato Falls Into the Black Hole, Waiting for Ali

Marvin X


Spinning, spinning, spinning for Shams,
Spinning for love of Shams….—Rumi

Waiting, waiting, waiting for Ali
Waiting for love of Ali—M

After a lifetime he was coming, my brother Ali, coming to the Bay, coming home to stay, home to Cali after 13 years in Wala, Wala, State prison, Washington, after California Youth Authority, Soledad, San Quentin, Folsom, and numerous jails, my long-lost brother was coming to be the brother I always wanted but was never there, for support, love and to lean upon. Now I would be able to tell him how much I love him, no matter the absent years. And he would be able to tell me how much he loved and appreciated me as his younger brother—even though he is only one year older, now 65, and in days I would turn 64, yes, after all the years and tears, brothers at last.

I last saw him in 2002, when my national book tour came to Seattle. Since he knew I was a follower of Elijah Muhammad, he was totally shocked when radical whites showed up at the book party in my hotel suite. Before the book party, I had not seen him since 1979 in Reno, Nevada, when he, our father and I were together for the last time. As I recall, he was shocked when my white students visited me socially while I taught at the University of Nevada, Reno.

So soon he was leaving Seattle for Monterey, supposedly so he could sit by ocean. If there was ever a person who needed the tranquility of the water it was Ali. Violence had consumed his life, but now he wanted to spend his last years in peace, having paid his dues to society. After arriving in Monterey, he was not able to find the housing he wanted, so he decided to return to the Bay area where we grew up. Actually, he would join other Jackmon siblings, including myself, Judy, Debbie, Tommy,Suzzette and Gayle. The only ones not here were Donna and Ann. We are all looking forward to Thanksgiving dinner at Debbie's. But today I was at the Greyhound bus station waiting for Ali to arrive from the coast. At 3pm I arrived and parked outside in the taxi stand space. Once inside, I grabbed a Snickers from the candy machine. When I turned around our faces met, although we both agreed we didn't recognize each other since we've both gained weight. I was also suffering a case of Vertigo(dizziness), and I discovered he was suffering from a multitude of ails, including heart problems caused by smoking.

Spinning for Shams.

Waiting for Ali

Spinning for love of Shams

Waiting for love of Ali

We embraced and I helped him with his bags to the car. His plan was to check into a hotel until he could find a house or apartment, but I had other plans. I told him of my plans for him to stay with me until he found a permanent place. He resisted but finally submitted. He let me know he was not used to accepting help from anyone. Survival had taught him to rely on no one but himself. He had absolutely no belief in God and despised religion. And although he considered me a religious person, I was determined he would soon discover I believed in spirituality, not religion. If I could only convince him of my belief in spirituality, I figured it would simply add to his basic humanity, because I knew him to be a kind, caring and giving person, despite his anti-religious, individualistic ranting, rooted in criminal and prison culture. I just wanted to show him love and allow him to show his love for me. In the days ahead, he would admit to me it would be a daunting task to heal himself of individualism and the inability to accept love and blessings from those who cared about him. Somehow, in the travels of his mind, he concluded no one cared, and even if they did, he would not know how to respond in kind.
-----to be continued--